Starting word count: 53641
Ending word count: 55808
Total words: 2167

I forced myself to stay in the middle today and face my absolute (admittedly, probably overblown) terror about this plot head on. Do I feel good about that choice? I mean, I guess? The more I write here now, the closer I am to figuring out what the middle of the story looks like.

I finished up chapter 13 and wrote the whole of chapter 14 — it’s a shorter chapter, but I think that it made sense to end it where I did (and, hey, I always manage to add in more in the first round of edits). I don’t know how I feel about the connection between the two chapters at this rate or even about the pacing of the story, but I’m trying to remind myself to breathe and stop getting so in my head about it right now.

Everything becomes clear upon finishing the first draft. I know this.

And yet, every time I start writing something new, the knowledge seems to get sucked out of my brain and replaced with mild panic that I’ll never manage to get the whole draft written.

I just feel like I’m building a tower of blocks in the dark, you know? Like, I know I’ll get it right eventually, but I have no idea how I’m going to get there or what it’s going to look like when I do. I guess the good thing is that, at the end, you get to flip the light on in the dark room and then you can rearrange everything once you can see what you’ve got. You can fix your wonky towers and your weak foundations, but you can’t fix something that isn’t there.

Is this analogy working?

Anyway, drama aside, I do feel good about the scene I wrote today. If I need to fiddle with the placement or the transition later, I can do that, but the scene itself, I think, has good bones. It also let me bring in one of my favourite side characters, so, really, I’m not disappointed. I did most of my writing outside at the park today, too, sat on a rock in the sun while my kid ran around and got some of his energy out. It was chilly and, honestly, kind of perfect.

I hope that your day, writing and otherwise, had a similarly positive vibe x

Let’s be friends on NaNo! Or listen to my project writing playlist!